There is something fake-sugary, something bad-Meg-Ryan-movie about Orkut.com that makes me want to throw up.
I joined the site recently on account of some peer pressure from my sister and some high school friends. Here are a few reasons why Orkut.com stinks:
a) Who the hell asks people to pick/describe their sense of humor? Consider also how retarded the available “humor types” are (yes, you must pick your personal type of humor from a set of radio buttons. Fun!):
Maybe, it’s just me – but what jackass meets people at a party and goes, “Hi, my name is Bob. I have a friendly sense of humor”?
b) When I sign into orkut, my dashboard serves up a PERSONAL FORTUNE, not unlike a cheap fortune cookie thrown in my face at Jing Jing’s Spicy Schezuan of Palo Alto. Okay, this is just wrong. Chinese food and social networking do NOT mix.
c) Why is every Indo in the subcontinent on orkut.com? Why not a homegrown social network? How did orkut.com reach this “tipping point”? Did they bribe the popular kids in Indian cities with dreams of a life like Shah Rukh Khan (minus the whole closeted-gay, stuttering, ridiculous jackass thing) if they joined? Did they advertise on the side of BEST buses inspite of the expected paan-induced spittle risks?
d) Back to the stupid profile. There is a whole section that expects users to barf along about their “passions”. Now, I know these are just hobbies, but something about the word “passions” conjures images of daytime soaps and the people who watch them. More cheese, anyone?? Here are my passions.
At this stage, you may be wondering – if I hate this thing so much, why am I on it? For the same reason I use Windows and MySpace, of course. Add to that the fact that my sister loves the stupid thing and gets hit on by sweaty Indian dudes with serious BO issues all the time, and it’s my job to regulate.