Oh lord, the sky has officially fallen on our heads! “Groundbreaking” new research proves that obesity spreads from friend to friend, much like the cholera virus that annihilated entire cities back in the day. Back then, the outcome was gruesome death; nowadays the outcome is Kirstie Alley.
Nonetheless – your friends can make you fat! That got me thinking – what does this mean in a Facebook-Twitter-JustinKan-driven age, in a time when my friends aren’t just physically close to me but available all the damn time over some form of social networking? Why couldn’t we just take advantage of Facebook’s vaunted f8 platform???!
Facebook App: Fat Friend Tracker.
Hear me out before you get mad at me. First off, make it a rule to never add a friend who doesn’t have this app installed. The app is simple yet intrusive; disgusting yet funny. It requires users to enter a daily weight and publishes that weight to the users’ social network. If a user fails to enter in a weight on a particular date, it auto-assumes weight gain since you must have been hitting the cheesecake. Finally – if your weight passes a particular threshold (say, BMI of 19; I know, I’m a dirtbag) – your friends have the ability to mock you using an anonymous wall. Example snarky statements such as “Thanks for making the entire country of Somalia starve” will be provided as canned insults.
I think it’s a winner! What do you think?? Leave me a comment and tell me if I’m way off here 🙂