Nobody said being fat was easy. It takes hard work, dedication and a real willingness to chow down. Sometimes, it even takes losing Facebook friends, as I tried to articulate here.
But what if you want to shake off a few pounds? Would you do the “right” thing and hit the gym five days a week? Would you sacrifice that nice helping of Krispy Kreme and pick up a carrot instead? Hell No! You, Sir/Madam are an American. You need a pill, a fix, a way to manage this, a way to ease out of it, a way to just get it done as of yesterday. You need a Diet Coke, a Coke Zero, which of course tastes the same as regular Coke which of course is, if you believe the commercials, the easiest way to get laid and become cool.
Well, the fun’s over, punks. A new study (which I will tout as usual without regard to actual science or the details, natch) shows that hitting the diet Coke may make you fat! Say it ain’t so! First it was your friends – now its the diet Coke! What has the world come to?