Home > corporatespeak, silicon valley, snarky > Saumil’s Guide to Stupid ValleySpeak: Touch Base

Saumil’s Guide to Stupid ValleySpeak: Touch Base

N00bs to this blog, check out the rest of the valleyspeak series here: https://bitbubble.wordpress.com/category/corporatespeak/

This one isn’t Valley specific, but oh well. I’ve spent several years walking around office hallways and cubos and overhearing people saying, “Let’s jump into a conference room and touch base”, or “My crack dealer and I are touching base at the street corner tonight, want to join?” and it has been getting to me.

As far as I understand it, touch base == call or meet someone irrelevant about something immaterial. No one or nothing is being touched (at least I hope not). And whose base is this anyways? Why is there a base involved in the first place? Is anyone climbing a mountain?

So why the hell do we keep using it?? “Touch base” is yet another example of corporate America’s slow but continuous emasculation and withering of plain, simple, understandable English.

I only wish Hemingway were alive so he could get into a cagefight with anyone who’d dare to use the phrase in his presence. Now that’s a fight I would pay to watch on HBO.

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  1. June 30, 2008 at 6:44 am

    “Touch base” is yet another baseball analogy (like “hit it out of the park” and “getting to second base with her” and many others). Anyway, colloquialisms make languages more expressive, even if they’re not straightforward to understand sometimes.

  2. Sandy Carter
    April 8, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    Additional examples of withering of plain, simple, understandable English:

    N00b
    Cubos

    Whatever Dude! 🙂

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