Home > microsoft surface, snarky, tech, ugly > Microsoft Surface finds you ugly

Microsoft Surface finds you ugly

Okay, I am totally shocked and awed by this idea that was all over the news today. Microsoft has decided to enter the yet-nascent but bound-to-be-huge market of “surface computing”. ReadWriteWeb has an interesting article here: http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/microsoft_surface.php#more

This is basically a Vista box out of which you build coffee tables. Check out these pimping photos of a dude selecting photos off the surface of the table. Also check out: http://www.microsoft.com/surface/

Okay, so far so good. Steve Ballmer has the following quote: “We see this as a multi-billion dollar category, and we envision a time when surface computing technologies will be pervasive, from tabletops and counters to the hallway mirror”.

So what are some interesting applications of Surface?

a) Microsoft Surface Bed: Whenever I sleep, a woman’s voice comes on, screaming at me for putting my butt on it. Juvenile? Natch. But it makes me laugh. Additionally, it reboots itself at 3am on account of “DLL failures”.

b) Microsoft Surface Hallway Mirror: This one I stole from Steve “ChairHurler” Ballmer. Whenever I walk in the mirror’s line of vision, a disembodied voice calls me fat, ugly and stupid to boot. Alternatively, it shows me aspirational photos of good-looking dudes so I can aspire to become someone else in my lifetime. Finally, it plays pranks on me – what a kick to wake up and find a full-body reflection of a coked-out Lindsay Lohan in the mirror. Hilarious!!

c) Starbucks Order Manager: A tabletop computer that allows you to enter Starbucks orders, which are then wirelessly transmitted to a barista behind the counter. Except that if you order a “half caf one pump soy latte with half a nutrasweet and no whip”, the table responds with a “Thank you, asshole” and suddenly encounters wireless connectivity issues.

What do you guys think? Got others for me?

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